Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
