Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
only you would photoshop your dick
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
