i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
