oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
