Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
