ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
