belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
