im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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