He uses pillows to masturbate.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
