just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
