would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
