Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
