no, he came in my armpit
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
