And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
