I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Boobs are out for the taking
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
