If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
