She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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