she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
