Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
