We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
