cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
