hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just want to make out with him forever
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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