I could have mohawked her pubes.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
