omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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