Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
tell me about the fingering
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
