I'm drive I can fine osifer
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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