So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Randomize
