OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Come share oat with me in your robe
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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