to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
