Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
