Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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