you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
