With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
