It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
