farters have to be the big spoon...
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
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