I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
