how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
