I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
