New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
