I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize