found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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