So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
