you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
