Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
