even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
