if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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