She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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