He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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