I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
