:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
