Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
