im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
