Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Randomize
