then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize