hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
