He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
