I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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