Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
