dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
i now understand why vodka
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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