I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Randomize
