mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
