dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
