you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
