Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
