New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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