from now on my penis is your penis
where am i from again
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
