I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
