last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
