He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
