No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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