no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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