ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize