I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
me + whiskey = a bad person
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
