standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
