Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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