I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
