You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
