You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
