I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize